Why Difficult Emotions can be the Most Helpful of All

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‘Tough emotions are part of our contract for life. You don’t get a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life’ – Susan David, PhD

It’s one of life’s great ironies that true happiness and success often comes from having experienced the opposite – sadness, confusion, frustration, fear, heartbreak or loss.

Whether feeling victimised and advocating for change that benefits others, cue the suffragettes, dating people from different paths who may unlock something major unrealised within you despite judgment from others or having the courage to trust instincts within to shift path whether career, geographic, love, friendship or beyond – listening to and channelling uncomfortable emotions will often be your making.

Ironic, then, isn’t it, that we rail against the things in life that bring us discomfort whether changing careers, breaking up with someone we feel deep down isn’t quite right for us, having difficult conversations and sitting with discomfort. For it’s the uncomfortable emotions that come with these that are usually the great revealers, connecting us to our most authentic selves and our greatest unmet needs. Precisely the route to greater happiness and a big part of the coaching process!

What uncomfortable feelings do you avoid?

What would that discomfort say if it could speak?

What would you be willing to face if you knew it would be the making of you and feed great joy? Even if it took faith to sit in the space in between and – just – trust?

Suddenly it doesn’t seem quite so scary, does it?

What uncomfortable truths are you willing to sit with this week?

And what, in your wildest dreams, might be the best outcome of this?

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If you’d like to upgrade your life or career and learn simple tools to optimise clarity, confidence, strategy and change, book in a free discovery call here:

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There is Purpose in Pain: How to Find the Magic in Adversity

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There is purpose in pain.

If you’ve had a rough ride, it ain’t the end of your tale. Feel the pain, let it out and then dig deep, look for the learnings and good things will come.

Life is like a Super Mario game. You gotta decipher the learning on whatever level you’re on, no matter how hard, to progress to the next level. If you keep doing the same thing again n again you’ll stay stuck where you are.

Give in to low vibe energy and sit in a bog of victimhood (of course this is normal at times) and be prepared to stay stuck there.

If you’re really stuck in toxic emotions like anger, shame and envy, who can you talk to to break that impasse so you can bust upwards to survive and then thrive?

Even when you get through that, it can be hard to keep the faith at times that good things are coming your way so be your own cheerleader daily and champion yourself with positive language as you move through stress.

I regularly tell myself what I’d tell a best friend at those moments: ‘You’re doing really well, Mella, keep going’ or ‘It’s ok you’re feeling burnt-out, you’ve had a lot of change of late’.

Cos y’know what?

Language matters.

What you feed your brain matters.

Even if you don’t believe it, your subconscious mind believes anything you tell it if you feed it that regularly enough.

So repeat after me:

‘Amazing things are coming’ 💥

And wait for the tide to turn in your favour 🌊

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Want to learn more? Book in a free life / career coaching or corporate training discovery call to benefit from my 10% January discount and to optimise success before February is upon us! 🥂 www.melanie-pritchard.com.

The Theory of Everything: What Stephen Hawking’s Divorce Teaches Us About Love

The Theory of Everything' Review: Eddie Redmayne Is Stephen Hawking - Variety

The Theory of Everything was quite something for Eddie Redmayne. He was already high on my list just for being a dazzling, redhead, for his (inoffensive) public school charm and for those stunning green eyes, but his performance in The Theory of Everything propelled him into unchartered territory.

I had assumed that The Theory of Everything would be about physics, planets and a famous scientist. And though it is, of course, about the incredible Stephen Hawking and his awe-inspiring achievements, it’s about far more than physical matter.

A Bit of A Game-Changer

IMAGINARY FOUNDATION COSMIC SYMBOLISM FLY-THROUGH

This is a tale about the great themes of life – love and loss, strength and frailty, courage and fear, comedy and tragedy. This isn’t a perfect love story with violins and roses, romantic longevity untainted by challenge, this is a story about the varied and subtle shades of life at its most difficult and most beautiful. This is a story of reality and hope united, a story of a young couple bound by a love so strong that we are carried to dizzying heights with Jane’s passionate commitment to Stephen, a commitment at its most beautiful on his diagnosis with Motor Neurone Disease. Her inner courage is heightened by her miniature size, a gumption soaring way above the testing physical and emotional obstacles which are laid in their marital path. Stephen’s strength is as inspiring, manifest in his wicked sense of humour, sparkling eyes and remarkable scientific achievements despite his physical constraints. Nothing grips human nature more than strength in adversity and boy is this a hero’s tale – not just of the incredible scientist himself, but of his steadfast wife, unbending in love and sacrifice for the man she loves.

Where’s The Real Wow?

Jane Hawking with her ex-husband

But for me, a more subtle ‘wow factor’ lies in the twist towards the end. The Hawkings’ ability to adapt to new and uncomfortable truths is established early on through Stephen’s illness but later, with the breakdown of their marriage, come some truly powerful messages. That the changed status of their incredible relationship didn’t undermine their happy ending bears poignant testimony to the power of the human spirit, challenging our perception of romance, commitment, happiness and success. For despite being the most brilliant example of ‘for better or for worse’, this ended up being a tale whose value wasn’t determined by whether the couple remained together or apart… this was a tale about success in a far wider sense – the ability to accept the twists and turns of life and adapt to changes thrown your way, no matter how unfair or futile.

What Can We Learn From The Theory of Everything?

In this respect, The Theory of Everything is aptly named, for it really is rich in messages about so many aspects of human existence. The aforementioned twist, set against a tale of such supernatural love and professional achievement, shows us that imperfection can still be inspiring and that magnificence is not always born of picture perfect endings. Intelligence is not just about brilliance and jaw-dropping achievement. It can be of a quieter kind, found in dignity, courage and the ability to adapt to change. In an increasingly digital society dependant on the disposable, this film shows us that those who don’t end up with perfect Facebook statuses can still find immeasurable success in their lives, looking back and looking ahead, whether personal, professional or familial, external or internal – together or apart. Indeed, any other type of ‘perfection’ seems rather superficial and mundane set against a tale so rich in challenges and beauty that follows – but a static snap from a virtual world built to dazzle. The Theory of Everything challenges this empty cultural norm, showing that real beauty shifts and moulds to the circumstances of life – a life which can be rosy, shady and just plain difficult. A real life where real brilliance goes way beyond a perfect picture, inspiring hope in loss, beauty in pain, humour in suffering.

And it is in this vein that The Theory of Everything finds its cosmic power – in the quiet beauty of one of the closing scenes which sees the former couple united in the Queen’s perfectly manicured gardens, sharing their pride in the children that they have created together. The dignity with which they move on to confront life apart from one another after their incredible love story, without compromising the deep respect that they developed for one another, struck me as a great perfection. Nothing supernatural, nothing cosmic, nothing to write home about on a Facebook wall but a flawed reality rich in hope, humanity and dignity.

Why Should You See The Theory of Everything?

While there is life discovered by コカイン on We Heart It

The Theory of Everything is a remarkable tale about the power of the human spirit – a spirit which can be dazzling, other-earthly in abilities and passions and spell-bindingly inspiring but one which is also, just that – human – flawed, challenging and complex. A truly metaphysical tale, The Theory of Everything unites improbable points of likeness on so many levels to incredibly powerful effect – strength in adversity, humour in suffering, passion in frailty and happiness despite separation. I can see why Stephen Hawking said he was proud of Eddie Redmayne. Both seem to be remarkable men, probing life’s deepest questions in dazzling fashion.

 

 

 

His Greatest Trial Yet: Corporate Lawyer v The Atlantic Ocean

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With 1 in 4 people in the UK experiencing a mental health condition each year, raising money for mental health charities like Mind is a no brainer. Add losing your mother to mental illness and rowing an ocean in her memory and you have a passionate tale of love and loss that’s hard to beat. Read on to see how 31 year old London lawyer, George Biggar, is squaring up to the biggest challenge of his life…

What Inspired You To Row The Atlantic?

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I’m rowing the Atlantic in memory of my mum, Anne Fisher, who passed away in 2011 after a lifelong battle with mental illness. At her funeral, my best friend Dicky and I decided we’d undertake a challenge in her memory and to raise funds and awareness for Mind, a charity which mum was a trustee for. Pete and Stu (two other great friends I’ll be rowing with), came up with the idea of rowing the Atlantic after cycling from John O’Groats to Lands’ End. They were hungry to undertake another endurance event and the next thing I knew, a WhatsApp group named ‘Atlantic Crossing’ had been created. After a few bravado-fuelled messages, the idea became a reality!

What Does The Crossing Entail?

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Dubbed the world’s toughest row, the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge is an unsupported 3,000 nautical mile race across the Atlantic Ocean, starting on 12 December 2017 from the Canary Islands and finishing in Antigua. With more people having climbed Everest than have rowed the Atlantic, it’s one of the world’s greatest endurance challenges which will test us to our limits. The boat is only 26 feet long, accommodating the four of us who have a similar combined height. We will also be carrying all our food on board with us, including 720 dry ration packs, 320 wet ration packs, 40kg of macadamia nuts, 18 kg of almonds, 11 kg of coconut shavings, 40 litres of coconut oil, as well as 3 kg of Sudocrem to deal with inevitable chafing. We’ll be adopting a pattern of rowing in pairs for two hour shifts and then sleeping for two hours for up to 50 days. Given our limited experience of ocean rowing, it’s hard to know how we’ll fare but we’ve spent 18 months preparing for the row and aim to reach Antigua ahead of the other 27 teams!

What’s Your Greatest Fear?

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Rowing for mum will be therapeutic but also triggering, especially when tired. In terms of our greatest fears, we’re told by people who’ve done it previously that we’ll feel incredibly fatigued, with a constant, dull pain in our muscles and that, in itself, is mentally exhausting for up to 50 days. The general scope of the challenge is also pretty terrifying – 3,000 miles of open ocean for a month and a half! The waves will be up to 40ft high, with storms, seasickness, sharks and very cramped conditions but everything that scares us about the challenge is also what spurs us on.

How Will You Cope At Your Lowest Ebb?

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When you undertake a challenge driven by emotion, there’s an underlying strength you can call on when things get really tough. So the fact we’re doing this for personal reasons will really help us when we reach our limits as will the close friendship the four of us have. We’ve spent so much time together over the last 18 months that we have a complete understanding of what each other are thinking. We also have complete trust that we’ll all be trying our hardest so if someone’s struggling, it’s because they’re genuinely finding it tough. It’s up to the other three to find that extra resilience in those moments. Finally, we’ve got a number of mantras on the boat which will help push us through. ‘Remember why you’re doing this’ will be up there in lights!

How are you preparing for the crossing?

I’ve found there’s an extra hour in every day if you look for it but this has meant we’re working 10 – 12 hour days, then fitting in two hours at the gym till 10pm at night, then coming home to deal with emails and getting up at the crack of dawn to fit in a couple of hours of admin before work. It has been a huge undertaking over the last 18 months but now we’re near the start line we feel like a lot of the hard work is now behind us – just the row to conquer now!

How Much do You Need to Raise And How Much Have You Raised So Far?

Taking part in an ocean rowing race costs in the region of £120,000. Race entry costs about £20,000, the boat costs about £50,000, the food is about £13,000, shipping the boat to the start line is about £4,500 and shipping it from the finish line back home costs another £5,500, so there’s a lot of money to find before you can even consider taking part. However, with a huge amount of support from a number of companies, our friends and family, we’ve managed to outstrip the costs and make some serious money for our charities. Initially we aimed for £50,000, then £100,000, then £200,0000 and now £250,000 which we recently hit in donations for Mind and Spinal Research. We’re incredibly grateful for the support we’ve had but it doesn’t stop here – we want to make as much as we can!

What’s The Hardest Part of The Training?

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The training requires round the clock commitment, involving a lot of rowing on the Thames, weight training in the gym and arduous rows in the gym. One of the most challenging aspects has been adapting to a ketogenic diet plan for the row which means ditching carbohydrates and sugars and focusing on eating as much fat as we can. I’m a bit of a foodie so this has been a real struggle! Having the odd bag of pork scratchings at the pub as a naughty snack is all very well but when you are force feeding yourself 3 packets a day between meals or whole blocks of cheddar, it’s slightly less enjoyable! That said, when we arrive in Antigua and plough into burgers and chips, it will be worth it!

What Will You do When You Reach The Finish Line?

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We’re bound to feel home sick during the 40 – 50 days at sea so seeing friends and family at the finish line will be as overwhelming as completing the challenge. That’ll be swiftly overtaken by a huge craving for a burger and a beer, I imagine! Then we’ll have a period of recuperation before hopping back on the plane and facing reality. People keep asking whether this will be a one-off life experience or the start of many endurance events. For me, this is more about commemorating my mum than satiating an endurance junkie drive, but never say never!

How Can we Support You?

We’d love you to spare what you can and donate to Mind and Spinal Research through our website – www.thefouroarsmen.com/donate. Awareness is also paramount to the work that these charities do, so please spread the word about what we’re doing and why. The last year has seen huge discussion around mental ill health and the misplaced stigma around it; if we can keep this conversation going it will be a huge achievement.

Depression To Progression: A 12 Point Personal Toolbox for Tough Times

5 ways science difficulty feature

Happy Tuesday, All ◭

Learning healthy ways to move through adversity, a collection of skills that researchers call ‘resilience’, can help us cope better and recover more quickly.

Check out the 12 point Personal Toolbox for Tough Times below – such simple practices that can help you cope with difficulties when they arise but also prepare you for challenges in the future ◬◬◬

I’m a big fan of numbers 1, 2 and 4

http://upliftconnect.com/5-science-handle-difficult-times/

 

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