Podcast Episode 5: What Losing My Son Taught Me About Suicide

James

Episode 5 of The School of Success Podcast Series is now live! A once in a lifetime personal account into the complexity of happiness and the fragility of mental health, no matter how fortunate you may be
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This inspiring interview with the wonderful Clare Milford-Haven, aristocrat, ex-Tatler journalist, polo player, mother and co-founder of @jamesplace, the first non-clinical charity specialising in the prevention of male suicide, teaches you:

– what kind of things trigger depression and suicidal crisis;
– what type of person feels suicidal;
– why men are particularly vulnerable;
– the signs and symptoms of mental illness;
– how you can save a life in the smallest of ways; and
– why those most at risk may be the last people you expect
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This is for you if you have an interest in what it is to be human – happiness, sadness, fluke, chance, adversity and everything in between. This is also for you if you have men in your life you care deeply for, whether father, brother, husband, boyfriend, son or otherwise.
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This is also for you if you want to learn how to understand a misunderstood and stigmatised subject that affects far more people than we realise (85 men take their lives every week in the UK, with 75% of suicides being male and suicide being the leading cause of death in men aged 20-49). In other words, suicide is a silent epidemic that gets far less air-time than Covid19.
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We need to do something about this.
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In this warm-hearted interview, Clare lovingly guides you to discover a range of powerful tools to help you spot signs of vulnerability in your nearest and dearest that might otherwise go unsaid, tools to help loved ones express how they really feel and support systems to help those in crisis.
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You can find Clare @jamesplace on Instagram and at www.jamesplace.org.uk/ 🍬
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Be warned, Clare is an inspiring example of motherhood, innovation, making a difference and above all, saving lives.

Listen here!

‘COVID-19 Has Put Mental Health On Everyone’s Agenda’: The Former Lawyer Turned Corporate Wellbeing Trainer

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I am often asked why I left law to train law firms in Mental Health First Aid. In aid of U.K. Mental Health Awareness Week, I would like to share my story.

The truth is, many lawyers are confronted with the same career paradox that I was: they are high achievers who have made the cut, they have skills in abundance, thrive under pressure, problem-solve and add real value to clients.

Yet they are still human beings with lives of their own. The challenges of juggling an intense workload, managing relationships, caring for family and other life stresses have never been more apparent than during the pandemic. COVID-19 has put mental health on everyone’s agenda. Read the full article for Legal Week here.

Corporate Social Responsibility: Moving Mental Health to the Top of the Legal Agenda

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The legal profession is widely known for attracting high achievers, those with excellent grades, drive, attention to detail and resilience. There is no denying that the legal industry is built on extremes; think the A-Type personalities driving Magic Circle revenues north of a billion pounds a year to the cut above intellect which sees only a third of student barristers securing pupillages.

It is with irony that these stellar qualities can also be many lawyers’ and barristers’ Achilles’ heel. For while the high-powered legal industry thrives off outstanding professionals, this same unrelenting standard for excellence can leave legal professionals feeling imbalanced, burnt-out and more vulnerable to mental illness than employees in other industries.

You certainly don’t need me to tell you about the impact the Covid-19 pandemic is having on the legal profession. This crisis has disrupted the workplace like nothing before. As an industry, law firms are scrambling to plan for the post-coronavirus working environment. There is a real danger however that, whilst the physical aspect of returning to work under a ‘new normal’ will be respected, the mental wellbeing of staff may be overlooked. Read the full article for The Law Society Gazette here

MOVING MENTAL HEALTH TO THE TOP OF THE LEGAL AGENDA

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“We’re all very driven here. We don’t suffer with things like that”

Senior Partner, Magic Circle law firm

The legal profession is widely known for attracting high achievers, those with excellent grades, drive, attention to detail and resilience. There’s no denying the legal industry is built on extremes; think the A-Type personalities driving Magic Circle revenues north of a billion pounds a year to the cut above intellect which sees only a third of student barristers securing pupillages.

Ironically, these stellar qualities can also be many lawyers’ and barristers’ Achilles’ heel. For while the high-powered legal industry thrives off outstanding professionals, this same unrelenting standard for excellence can leave legal professionals feeling imbalanced, burnt-out and more vulnerable to mental illness than employees in other industries. According to Dr Michalak of the University of Queensland: ‘Lawyers suffer from significantly lower levels of psychological + psychosomatic health wellbeing than other professionals’.

Read my article for The Law Society Gazette here to explore why now, more than ever, mental health needs to be moved to the top of the legal agenda.

 

Most Downloaded Podcast with Author Your Life! My Resilience + Career Top Tips For Your Eyes Only

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If you’re feeling lost about career change, confused as to how to control negative thought loops or overwhelmed by the dating game, check out my podcast interview below with the fabulous Author your Life Podcast.

Invited back as the most downloaded guest of 2018, this is seriously content rich and will teach you:
1: How to turn problems to opportunities
2: What cognitive distortions are, why the brain can’t resist them and how to overcome them
3: Why careers are like dating and why you shouldn’t settle for the first job or average other!
4: How failure to identify your values will keep you trapped in a cycle of bad life decisions!

Listen here and let me know what the most positive learning is for you!

Team Paris: We Did It + Won!!

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C’est finit, c’est finiiiiiit! Au revoir Paris!

What a fantastic adventure completing the Paris Marathon was! Running 26 miles with 57,000 other people was the most amazing experience and really helped push me on after 19 miles when things got hard! The Eiffel Tower at mile 18 was a great goal to fixate on although when it came into view, it did look a little further off than I’d hoped 😉

But best of all was raising £6,700 for Cancer Research. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity which not only made a big difference during my training but will also make a huge difference in the fight against cancer.

Raising such a huge amount means we’ve topped the £5,500 it costs to cover clinical trials to improve surgery for brain tumours for a month, making brain tumour cells ‘glow’ during surgery so doctors can remove as much of the tumour as possible whilst leaving healthy tissue undamaged. This was my dream to cross to honour people like my brother, Matthew, who overcame every obstacle life threw at him in his fight against brain cancer.

It also means we are nearer increasing the survival rate for those diagnosed with cancer – today, half of people diagnosed with cancer in the UK survive versus only a quarter in the 1970s. We are now aiming to see three quarters of people surviving all cancers and with brain cancer victims having a fighting chance. This kind of staggering progress over the years is, quite simply, down to cancer research. And that’s where you’ve made all the difference.

What struck me as the praise flooded in for completing the marathon was a slight sense of bewilderment. Don’t get me wrong, I get that 26 miles is a long way to run and that the training and fundraising takes a bit of commitment. But physical fights like marathons are the easy ones to win. We can prepare for them, we can practise for them and we can run them with others. The end is known and the end is in sight.

Mental fights with no fixed destinations are far harder to endure and often run alone. They take courage and strength of character which borders on superhuman.

But running this together has gone a long way in supporting people fighting the good fight – and it’s that togetherness that makes all the difference at testing times. Just as our family found at the toughest of times.

As Marrow once said,  “quite selfishly, you two help me”. Ironic that for us, it was his strength of character that made it all so much easier to bear. Which is why it’s so important to hang out with the best – to surround yourself with positive people who lift you up – and to always strive to be part of things bigger than yourself. So thank you for being part of something important and for helping me exceed my target significantly. Couldn’t have done it without y’all.

There were many positive learnings from the marathon experience but the one I’d like to leave you with is this:

“Your dreams will have greater meaning when they’re tied to the betterment of others”

Tererai Trent

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