Hot Air Or Life-Changing? How Coaching Banishes Stress & Transforms Lives

instincts and coaching

“Attention energises, intention transforms”

Deepak Chopra

Ever wondered why you’re unable to make change despite feeling frustration, boredom, anxiety or depression about your current life?

Here’s why..

To make any big change in your life, you need to do more than recognise discomfort – you need to create the time, space and resources to get real clarity. From there, change becomes easy.

Ever wondered why people telling you what you should do rarely works? Because sometimes it comes more from a place of projection, protectiveness and bias than objectivity and real listening – truly sitting in the moment with you and really hearing what lies beneath is usually quite different, leaving you feeling heard, understood and pumped to uplevel your life.

This is exactly what I thought coaching wasn’t when I first started out. Honestly, I was hoping it was a quick fix involving talking to a wise owl who could help me cut corners and expedite change fast.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When I heard it was being guided by the coach asking a series of questions to help me work out who I was and what I wanted, I thought it sounded like hot air.

Then we started practising coaching – and I ate my words fast..

I quickly realised helping someone connect to who they truly are and what they truly want versus telling them what they should do, is where the magic happens.

I see this kind of magic happen daily with clients – whether midwives moving into project management, financiers moving into consulting, lawyers moving into coaching or graduates moving into advertising and beyond.

It’s not rocket science, but boy does it work.

As a wise friend on Mindline once said, really active listening is like developing a sixth sense.

So I say again – attention energises, intention transforms. Finding space to be truly heard and to deconstruct what’s really going on for you is an essential component to creating the intention required for change.

So if you’re feeling misaligned with your life or career, what’s stopping you?

And if you’re still feeling stuck, remember, nothing changes if nothing changes 💫

#coaching #life #career #change #listen #plan #goals #transform

 

Team Paris: We Did It + Won!!

C’est finit, c’est finiiiiiit! Au revoir Paris!

What a fantastic adventure completing the Paris Marathon was! Running 26 miles with 57,000 other people was the most amazing experience and really helped push me on after 19 miles when things got hard! The Eiffel Tower at mile 18 was a great goal to fixate on although when it came into view, it did look a little further off than I’d hoped 😉

But best of all was raising £6,700 for Cancer Research. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity which not only made a big difference during my training but will also make a huge difference in the fight against cancer.

Raising such a huge amount means we’ve topped the £5,500 it costs to cover clinical trials to improve surgery for brain tumours for a month, making brain tumour cells ‘glow’ during surgery so doctors can remove as much of the tumour as possible whilst leaving healthy tissue undamaged. This was my dream to cross to honour people like my brother, Matthew, who overcame every obstacle life threw at him in his fight against brain cancer.

It also means we are nearer increasing the survival rate for those diagnosed with cancer – today, half of people diagnosed with cancer in the UK survive versus only a quarter in the 1970s. We are now aiming to see three quarters of people surviving all cancers and with brain cancer victims having a fighting chance. This kind of staggering progress over the years is, quite simply, down to cancer research. And that’s where you’ve made all the difference.

What struck me as the praise flooded in for completing the marathon was a slight sense of bewilderment. Don’t get me wrong, I get that 26 miles is a long way to run and that the training and fundraising takes a bit of commitment. But physical fights like marathons are the easy ones to win. We can prepare for them, we can practise for them and we can run them with others. The end is known and the end is in sight.

Mental fights with no fixed destinations are far harder to endure and often run alone. They take courage and strength of character which borders on superhuman.

But running this together has gone a long way in supporting people fighting the good fight – and it’s that togetherness that makes all the difference at testing times. Just as our family found at the toughest of times.

As Marrow once said,  “quite selfishly, you two help me”. Ironic that for us, it was his strength of character that made it all so much easier to bear. Which is why it’s so important to hang out with the best – to surround yourself with positive people who lift you up – and to always strive to be part of things bigger than yourself. So thank you for being part of something important and for helping me exceed my target significantly. Couldn’t have done it without y’all.

There were many positive learnings from the marathon experience but the one I’d like to leave you with is this:

“Your dreams will have greater meaning when they’re tied to the betterment of others”

Tererai Trent

KISS: The Surprisingly Simple Secret For Moving From Zero To Hero

‘Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement’

Brian Tracy

‘Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal’

Henry Ford 

Rather than focusing on whether you’re likely to succeed or fail, break success right down into small, actionable goals.

Focus on something specific you want to achieve and feel your confidence build every time you tick another goal off your list and move closer to your journey goal (the big goal each little goal is moving you closer to). Try and see the opportunity of learning in every test/ failure/ challenge along the way. Few of us were born at our best but the best find the positive learning in every difficulty.

So just KISS this week – keep it simple stupid – and see where that takes you…

You’ll be surprised at the results ☘️

And if you find yourself really struggling, ask yourself what your WHY is for pursuing your goal. What’s the underlying reason for going for it? How will achieving it benefit you? How much better will your life be as a result? How much will you care if you don’t achieve it?

If your goal doesn’t excite you, find a WHY that does and feel the stars start to align ✨

 

Follow Your Dreams: The Surprisingly Simple Reasons To Believe In The Impossible

“People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like “be realistic”

Dylan Moran

Happy Truth-bomb Tuesday. Bet you can guess what today’s inspiration grenade is, can’t you?

Work out what you want, the thing that really excites you, motivates you and gives you a sense of purpose and joy – and go after it – no matter how unattainable others think it is.

How Do You Know If A Dream Is Worth Following Or Not?

For though your nearest and dearest may well get the tune of your spirit better than most, we are all uniquely different (even identical twins) – with different loves and hates – hopes and dreams – and these aren’t always what those closest to you expect – or what you yourself may have believed you believed in. Until now.

For this journey called life is just that – a journey – with twists and turns and highs and lows in the road – and we are constantly evolving travellers treading paths which change shape at every step.

As my lovely coachees so often illustrate, what once seemed like the best ideal in the world may now be but a faraway thought with little passion behind it – one which finds itself replaced with something new, wondrous and thrilling – finding you upgraded with a new identity of sorts.

And this new dream may come out of nowhere – like a cheek-smacking revelation – exciting and scary all at once. But here’s the important point – so listen up good – that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be pursued, no matter what anyone tells you – it probably means it should!

Why Should You Trust Your Instincts?

Case in point – many thought I was mad to leave the comfort of Madrid where I was so happy and fulfilled to go to the mountainous climes of Chamonix but I held fast to my instincts and sure enough, it was a time of awakening, joy, self-development and love. My instincts were spot on – and I’m so glad I followed my heart – not my head.

Of course, there are times when the chatterings of the rationale become louder than the flutterings of your heart – and that’s ok, too – if it feels right – to you.

What’s The Bottom Line?

If you’re worried that dream-catching is reckless, silly or something fit for different sorts to you, remember – it is anything but.

For as soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.

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Warmly,

Melanie